One of the hardest things for me to do is to just be quiet. When I am in a conflict, I have a tendency to talk too much. This is never more true than when I feel that the other person in the conflict has a bad taste in their mouth about me. I feel I need to change their mind, prove they're wrong and/or convince them to see my side of things. More often than not, this comes back to bite me. Instead of making things better, it typically does nothing but make things worse.
I believe that when you are in a misunderstanding, it is important to address your views and thoughts about the situation. Both parties should be able to do that when good communication is employed. Where I go wrong, is I can't seem to leave it at that...especially if the other person has, what I perceive to be, the wrong idea about me, my value system or how I've handled things. I always want to get my two cents worth in, in hopes they will come to my way of thinking. This RARELY happens. Instead, I end up talking too much, and sometimes saying things to try and get my point across. Things that could wind up hurtful and still not get me any closer to closing the gap between our thoughts and feelings. I want to, no NEED to, get better about being quiet.
If I have learned nothing, it is that you can not, no matter how hard you try, change someone's perception. Their perception is their reality, just as mine is mine, and you've got a better than no chance that it's going to be any different...no matter how hard you try. The outcome will be worse, and more than likely more hurtful, the more words you use.
To those that I have hurt by saying too much, I apologize. It is never my intention to make a situation worse, and I am truly sorry for the times that I have.
The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered. Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues.
Proverbs 17:27-28
Silence IS golden...God said it Himself and who am I to question?
Learn to be golden? Don't mind if I do...
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