Batter Up!

God has been working on me lately.  I mean, He's always working...pruning, teaching, correcting, loving...but He has been dealing with me on a particular issue and a relationship that I long to repair.

I have begun a bible study called "Girlfriend Revolution".  It is all about building and fostering Godly friendships.  As usual, God's timing is impeccable.

Yesterday, He spoke to me clearly about this particular situation I am dealing with.  So clear, in fact, that I did exactly what He prompted me to do, yesterday afternoon.  I was nervous and scared, but I did it because it was the right thing to do.  I am proud of myself for putting His will before mine and being obedient, however, after the conversation begun, God threw me a curve ball.

I had prepared for the game.  I was prayed up...I was being obedient to His calling...I was open to what He had for the outcome.  But when I got up to bat, I found myself unprepared for the curve ball that was headed my way.  It was something that I did not expect and it totally caught me with my bat on my shoulder as it whizzed by.

As I was driving home, I cried...a lot.  I thought I would feel better, perhaps like a weight had been lifted, when I left.  That was not the case.  I felt a different weight...a weight of insecurity that I had not felt in THIS situation...a new layer to contend with.  Ugh...I didn't want to feel this way.

After grumbling, crying, being frustrated and just sad last night, I had a couple of realizations.  In taking from my bible study that morning, I remembered that satan is constantly trying to hurt us.  He does not want God to get any victories and for a few hours last night, I allowed him to rob me of the joy of my obedience.  The devil knows our weaknesses and he hits the exact button he needs to, in order to get our minds off of Godly things.  Yesterday, my button of choice was insecurity...and he punched it!  Secondly, I realized that in this situation, God revealed to me, yet again, that insecurity is an area I struggle with.  He longs to help me with that, and He sometimes has to give me reminders.  When He nudges us, it helps us to give it to Him...or in my case, give it BACK to Him (for probably the millionth time).

After a good run, lots of prayer, tears and a few hours of sleep, I woke up feeling better.  I felt myself starting to fall back into the funk this morning, when I was thinking about things, but this time, I stopped and prayed right then, while I was making lunches.  I recognized that it was not of God, and I prayed against satan invading my thoughts.  It went away immediately.  God is faithful!!!

As difficult as yesterday was, it was a good day.  I learned a lot, had some realizations, was obedient and I may or may not have begun to restore a long lost friendship...a good day indeed.

I will continue to practice for my game of life with God.  Someday, I hope that when I get thrown a curve ball, I will hit it out of the park...for HIS GLORY!


Let God make me His MVP? Don't mind if I do...