Fool Me Twice...

Yep...it's shame on me.


Play it again? Don't mind if I don't...

If You Rebuild It...

   


                       "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

This is an old saying, but it's truth stands the test of time. It speaks to giving the benefit of the doubt when someone has wronged you, and giving them the chance to possibly do it again, in turn, making you look foolish for trusting them. Ahhh, and there's that word...TRUST.

 Here's the thing about trust...it is vital to any and every relationship, but once it is broken, it is VERY difficult to get back. I say "difficult" rather than "impossible", because I like to think of myself as an optimist, and the word impossible is just so final.

Having been on both ends of broken trust in my life, I can honestly tell you that neither end is worse than the other...it all sucks. Repairing a broken trust is an arduous task and unless both parties are willing to do what it takes, it can't be done.

When someone has broken your trust, it causes you to question just about everything that is done or said. It can make you very paranoid and I HATE THAT! When you make the decision to give them the benefit of the doubt, as well as another chance, it would be great if you truly could clean the slate. Unfortunately, it's not that easy. I imagine that it goes back the the "fool me twice..." part of the saying. No one wants to look like an idiot, especially if you're being fooled again and you're the only one that doesn't know it. That's my biggest fear.

When you have had a trust broken, it does make it a bit easier to understand how the other person felt when you were the offending party...a difficult pill to swallow.

The bottom line is this: Trust is a fragile thing. If a bridge you were standing on, suddenly gives way beneath you, even though the engineers have assured you that the rebuilt bridge is stronger than ever, using the highest quality materials and most up-to-date bridge building techniques, from that point on, every time you stand on that bridge, no matter how stable it feels, there is a small part of you that will always be waiting for the bottom to drop out again.

Choose to trust my bridge, but be cautious? Don't mind if I do...

Pieces...

We all have lives.  Each of our lives are like puzzles.  All of the pieces fit, at one time or another.  Often times in life, new pieces are introduced to our puzzle...jobs, circumstances, relationships.  It is up to us how easy we make the assimilation of the new pieces, or whether we do at all.  We are very protective of our life, and sometimes our puzzles haven't changed in a long time, making the addition of new pieces more difficult.  Being the new piece attempting to add to someone else's already established life puzzle can be a challenge as well.  Change is hard and many people fear, and maybe even reject it.

I venture to say that it is with change that we grow.  Without changes to our puzzles, we wouldn't discover new passions, new careers, new loves...change is good.  I know that God is the one sitting at the table, working on my life puzzle, and I welcome the changes.  I strive to allow Him to put my life together with as many pieces as he sees fit...adding and taking away as He goes.

How's your attitude about your changing life puzzle?

Be a positive piece of YOUR life puzzle?  Don't mind if I do...that is, if you'll allow it.

Taking Out The Trash

For years, my mom has always said this to me:

 "If someone says something about you, take what is true, and throw the rest away." 

Sometimes this is a hard truth to swallow and even more difficult to put into practice. If you're like me, you don't want ANYONE, saying or thinking ANYTHING that is negative or less than flattering about you. For some reason, people, (some, not all) think that they have carte blanche to say whatever they think, feel or anything that crosses their minds, with no regard for the consequences of their words. I am here to tell you, this is not the case.  Words hurt and no matter how much you regret them, apologize for them, or wish that you hadn't said them, you can NEVER take them back...ever!

I pride myself on having a pretty strong filter with my words. No matter how upset, hurt, angry or entitled to my feelings I may be, I am very careful with the words that I use. I have been on the receiving end and/or victim, of some of these non-filtered types, that feel like they can say whatever hurtful words they choose, and that it's okay. Apologies are accepted, if offered, but the words are out there and are hard pressed to be forgotten.

One of the things I struggle with is the forgetting part of this scenario. I don't want to hold onto hurtful things from the past. God is dealing with me on that issue, and to be honest, I have a long way to go, but I am committed to living in today, letting go and letting God, and not being a bitter, angry person. My God is big enough to do that.

On that note...to all of those people that have spewed words of venom, hate, judgement, ridicule, and falsehoods in my direction, I forgive you. In due time, and with God's faithfulness, I'll forget as well.

Take what is true and throw the rest away? Don't mind if I do...

Batter Up!

God has been working on me lately.  I mean, He's always working...pruning, teaching, correcting, loving...but He has been dealing with me on a particular issue and a relationship that I long to repair.

I have begun a bible study called "Girlfriend Revolution".  It is all about building and fostering Godly friendships.  As usual, God's timing is impeccable.

Yesterday, He spoke to me clearly about this particular situation I am dealing with.  So clear, in fact, that I did exactly what He prompted me to do, yesterday afternoon.  I was nervous and scared, but I did it because it was the right thing to do.  I am proud of myself for putting His will before mine and being obedient, however, after the conversation begun, God threw me a curve ball.

I had prepared for the game.  I was prayed up...I was being obedient to His calling...I was open to what He had for the outcome.  But when I got up to bat, I found myself unprepared for the curve ball that was headed my way.  It was something that I did not expect and it totally caught me with my bat on my shoulder as it whizzed by.

As I was driving home, I cried...a lot.  I thought I would feel better, perhaps like a weight had been lifted, when I left.  That was not the case.  I felt a different weight...a weight of insecurity that I had not felt in THIS situation...a new layer to contend with.  Ugh...I didn't want to feel this way.

After grumbling, crying, being frustrated and just sad last night, I had a couple of realizations.  In taking from my bible study that morning, I remembered that satan is constantly trying to hurt us.  He does not want God to get any victories and for a few hours last night, I allowed him to rob me of the joy of my obedience.  The devil knows our weaknesses and he hits the exact button he needs to, in order to get our minds off of Godly things.  Yesterday, my button of choice was insecurity...and he punched it!  Secondly, I realized that in this situation, God revealed to me, yet again, that insecurity is an area I struggle with.  He longs to help me with that, and He sometimes has to give me reminders.  When He nudges us, it helps us to give it to Him...or in my case, give it BACK to Him (for probably the millionth time).

After a good run, lots of prayer, tears and a few hours of sleep, I woke up feeling better.  I felt myself starting to fall back into the funk this morning, when I was thinking about things, but this time, I stopped and prayed right then, while I was making lunches.  I recognized that it was not of God, and I prayed against satan invading my thoughts.  It went away immediately.  God is faithful!!!

As difficult as yesterday was, it was a good day.  I learned a lot, had some realizations, was obedient and I may or may not have begun to restore a long lost friendship...a good day indeed.

I will continue to practice for my game of life with God.  Someday, I hope that when I get thrown a curve ball, I will hit it out of the park...for HIS GLORY!


Let God make me His MVP? Don't mind if I do...

I'm Just Me

You know what I think is funny?  I think it's funny when people tell you that you're wrong if you don't do exactly what they would do in any given situation...or act how they would act...or respond as they would respond.  What's even more humorous than that?  When they tell you that you are "creepy and weird" or "abnormal", for the same reasons.   I'm sorry, but last time I checked, just because I don't do what "everyone" else does, does NOT make me wrong.  I stand by my belief system, and I won't be bullied, guilt ed or made to feel "creepy and weird" or "abnormal" to satisfy anyone else.  I'm just me...love it or leave it.

My mom always told me..."When someone says something about you, take what is true, and throw the rest out."  Good advice!

To whom it may concern:  You think I'm "creepy and weird" or "abnormal" because I don't do what you want me to do or what "everyone" else does?  Let me know how that works out for you.  On second thought, don't.

Embrace "creepy and weird" and "abnormal" to BE me, FOR me?  Don't mind if I do...

It's About Time

Sometimes, we do things that we don't want to do. Sometimes, the things we know we should do are the hardest to actually do. Sometimes, doing the right thing, hurts the most.

When we do what we know is right, it pays off...all the time. When we face the hard decisions, everyone is better off in the long run...all the time.  Following through yourself, or allowing someone to do so on your behalf, will give you such a feeling of freedom (eventually)...all the time.

Do what is right. Do the things that are difficult and that you don't want to do. Face your hurt, knowing in the long run, everyone will benefit.

Today, I did.

I didn't want to. It was hard. It hurt...still does.
It will pay off. We will all be better off. I am free.

Turn my "sometimes" into "all the time"? Don't mind if I do...